It's been a month and 2 weeks since my dad passed away. I haven't even started my blog and i'm literally crying at this moment NBFR. I can't even explain the pain that I feel at this moment. I lost my best friend and someone I have looked up to for the past 26 years of my life. I know i'm being selfish when I ask God why my dad, why now? but it's so hard not to think that way. He has no pain, no dialysis 3 times a day, no more sickness, and he can finally sleep peacefully cause it was so hard for him to get a full nights rest, I can honestly say that my dad is happier than he's ever been right now and I know he's patiently waiting for the love of his life,my MOM.
I wish I had more time with my dad, there's so many things that I wanted him be here for when the time comes, We don't have kids yet but I wish he were here to hold and watch them grow, I want them to know who there papa is. I want you to be there when me and drew go through the temple which is what you wanted most from us. Last week 08/08/2012 I went to visit my dad after work, as I put flowers on his grave I had to say something because since my dad died I've felt so guilty I told him, "Dad I'm so sorry I wasn't able to give you what you want while you were here, but I promise you before I leave this earth I will know that I will see you again." and I can't wait for that day.
My mom would always tell me that my dad worries about me the most because of my weight and because of other things I do in my life, when my dad would tell me that I need to lose weight I just blame him for all the good food he cooks lol plus he was the one always calling me to come over and eat haha.. he would just smile and tell me to shutup lol. I can go on and on about my dad and the great person that he is, but I won't lol.
I miss you so much, I will do my best to make you proud. Give me strength to do what I have to do to make myself happy and my family, please watch over mom and us and keep us healthy and strong, I love you with all my heart dad and I will see you again.